The Nuts and Bolts of Forgiveness
Hero of Faith
We all have heroes – whether it is famous sporting, political or media figures, our parents or an imaginary man wearing tights and a cape. Heroes are important because they feed our imagination, inspire our actions and behaviour. But of course, different people are heroic for different things.
Lots of Bible characters are heroes. In fact, in the New Testament there is a list of them. You can find it in the book of Hebrews Ch11. Walking through Hebrews ch11 is a little like walking up the stairs in any football stadium, theatre or political building. The walls are lines with pictures of different figures who have made names for themselves by their heroic behaviour – whether footballers, thespians or politicians. The heroes of Hebrews have one thing in common – they are heroes of faith
One of them is Joseph about whom it says this -
“It was by faith that Joseph, when he was about to die, confidently spoke of God’s bringing the people of Israel out of Egypt. He was so sure of it that he commanded them to carry his bones with them when they left!” Hebrews 11:22
Joseph’s faith was evidenced in his confidence that God would again take his people out of Egypt despite the fact that the people whom he spoke of had treated Joseph in a terrible way.
Forgiving others - needs a hero
Joseph’s story is an amazing story; the multicoloured jacket, the dreams, and the rise to power in Egypt. These are amazing things, but actually there is one thing in particular that that surprises me, even shocks me about his story.
Genesis 45:1-15 is worth reading to find the shock of the life of Joseph.
You see, it does not surprise me that Joseph went from being a shepherd to the second most powerful man in Egypt, the superpower of the day. What surprises me – even amazes me is that Joseph could forgive his brothers in such a radical way. It is gob smacking – especially when we consider what they had done to him. People today might even call Joseph naive or ridiculous.
I’m sure you know the story...
Joseph is the favourite son of Jacob, a boy who dreams lots of dreams. One day he dreams that his brothers are bowing down before him. Now, if that were me I’d keep it quiet – but Joseph? No such thing. And understandably they don’t like it - the arrogant little worm!
So they, decide to get back at him. They make a plan - but not what you might call ‘even-handed’. They decide to kill him. They start by beating him up, followed after a bit more serious thought by throwing him into a pit in the ground and leaving him to the elements and animals.
But plan 3 is the best of the lot. It comes along in the form of Ishmaelite traders who buy him as a slave and then sell him on in Egypt.
Joseph’s life is utterly devastated and destroyed. No doubt, initially the brother felt justified but by the end they have considerably overstepped the mark and treated Joseph like any other animal or possession.
…so imagine…
When Joseph once again meets his brothers, this time on his terms and with him in the position of authority and power, how will he respond?
How would you respond?
Or more accurately, how have you responded? No don’t get me wrong, not many of us have gone through what Joseph went through, but lots of us have been treated in a similar way. We have been traumatised, miss-treated, hurt, abandoned, damaged by others in considerable ways. We deserve justice, to get back at those who have hurt us whether they are people close to us or people we don’t know.
And this is why Joseph is a hero – this is why his name is recorded as a man of faith. His response is unbelievable.
“Don’t be angry with yourselves that you did this to me, for God did it. He sent me ahead of you to preserve your loves…God has sent me here to keep you and your families alive so that you will become a great nation. Yes, it was God who sent me here, not you!” Genesis 45:5-8
How can he forgive them in such a radical way? How can he so clearly act for their good and wellbeing when all they have done to him is harm him and destroy his life? What is it that enables him to act in this way?
It is his Faith in God. He knows what God is like. He knows God’s plans. He knows that God who “has not punished us for all our sins, nor does he deal with us as we deserve.” Psalm 103:10
It is because of God that he can forgive. God’s ways, God’s plans, God’s purposes are much bigger that Josephs and he knows it. God’s ways plans and purposes are much bigger than his brother’s sin too. In fact he says – “it was God who sent me – not you”.
So – here is a question.
How can we forgive others for doing things to us that are so enormous and so painful in our lives that we are permanently affected by?
We listen and follow the one who is bigger and more powerful even than these things.
Is it easy? No – it is tough and that is why Joseph is a hero of faith. Though he was a victim, there was no victim mentality. He served the greatest and most powerful force in the Middle East. Not Pharaoh, but the God of his Fathers
I’m not sure – maybe Joseph spent his long times of confinement as a prisoner in the early days in Egypt reflecting on himself, how he had insensitively, even arrogantly talked about his brothers. Perhaps he had reflected on how amazing it was that his God had been so patient with him despite his behaviour. What about his brothers should they be treated differently than Joseph himself was?
So Joseph blessed them and plans to preserve and save their lives. There is a sense of redemption of God’s people through this story because Joseph acts by faith. How about you?
So there is one thing that surprises me about this story.
Forgiving ourselves
But there is one significant thing that does not surprise me about it.
Genesis 50:14-21 shows what happens at the end of the story. As mentioned earlier, it amazes me that Joseph was able to forgive his brothers, but it does not surprise me that his brothers couldn’t receive that forgiveness. Even after all these years they still lived in fear.
“But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became afraid. “Now Joseph will pay us back for all the evil we did to him,” they said.” (50:15)
They lived in fear of payback, rather than forgiveness.
Joseph’s brothers had lived in the shadow of this horrendous past for years, they had no doubt mulled it over, thought about it and chewed it over. They had no doubt built a very vivid mental record of the evil they had done in their minds. They knew it in and out and back to front. They had recorded and grieved over every last element. It had become something that had defined them and had affected the way they thought about themselves.
They had probably become ashamed of themselves, thought of themselves as far worse than anyone else. “If only our friends knew what we were really like, then they would have nothing to do with us.”
And forgiveness – well, they probably liked the idea, but the more they reflected on what they have done – on their past, the less they felt forgiven and the more they felt crushed by the memory of their sin.
Now – you might be thinking – how does he know that is what they thought? He is only guessing. It doesn’t say that anywhere – it just says they were afraid and knew they had done evil.
That is true, I am only guessing – but you know why I think that is the way they thought…because that is the way most of us think about things in our past. The problem is not so much “how do I forgive others?” It is more “how do I forgive myself!?”
How do I stop myself going back to my mental record of my sin and living under its power and effect? Countless times I’ve spoken to people who still feel as though God is frowning and angry for past sin – even when they know he isn’t.
Recieving Forgiveness
In the New Testament Paul says this
“The sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over us, but all who receive God’s wonderful, gracious gift of righteousness will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ” Romans 5:17
How do we live in triumph over the power, effects and memory of sin? How do we ‘reign in life’? Well Paul says, “all who receive God’s wonderful, gracious gift of righteousness will live” like this.
Forgiving yourself means receiving God’s forgiveness. 
Like two walkie-talkies. I can have one and God the other, but unless mine is turned on, tuned in and within range I will not receive the signal. When I become a Christian I move permanently in range. I am forgiven. But I need to turn my walkie-talkie on and tune it in order to live under the benefits of it.
I need to receive God’s forgiveness.
So how do we receive God’s forgiveness?
There are 3 elements to receiving this forgiveness and triumphing over sin in life.
LEAVE – We must leave our sin at the cross and let God deal with it. So often, when we come to Jesus and put our trust in his death on the cross, we bring him our sin and rebellion, ask him to forgive it and then pick it up again and try to take it back. We must leave it with him and trust him to deal with it rather than trying to carry it away and deal with it ourselves. We must leave it behind and walk off. Have you done that? Have you taken your burden of sin to the cross, taken it off and left it there? Do it! It is part of receiving.
BELIEVE – Not only that but we work hard at believing what God says about it. We trust his promises that “as far as the East is from the West, so far has he removed our sins from us” (Psalm 103 again). We take what God has said in the Bible seriously. We read it, learn it, memorise it, think about it and believe it. Are you a “believer”? Do it! It is a part of receiving.
LIVE – And we get on with living the life of someone who is forgiven. When we feel dragged back – we say no straight away, we act as though we are forgiven. We pray and worship. We give thanks. We mustn’t let our struggle with our past get a grip of our hearts. We tell our selves to move on. We push ourselves to look forward, not backward.
We all live with both wounds, and skeletons in our cupboards. Things that have been done to us, and things we have done that haunt us. The nuts and bolts of forgiveness, whether forgiving ourselves or others are not found in us. It is found in the God who does not treat us as we deserve.